Brotheruff & Sisterpuff
by Chien
Summary: The Townsville players present a classic fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm. Hijinks ensue!


I had this idea almost a year ago. Praise/Polite criticism is welcome. I must have been drinking too much tonic water.  
  
Hello! Welcome to "Brotheruff & Sisterpuff" I am your host, and narrator, Chien.  
  
Butch: Oh man!  
  
Brick: Have we been resurrected for ANOTHER fan fiction?!  
  
Boomer: Leave us alone! We're happy in our graves!  
  
Buttercup: What graves! You exploded! You don't have graves!  
  
Boomer: You know what I mean!!!!  
  
*ahem* Yes, well anyway. I do not own 'The Powerpuff Girls' or 'The Rowdyruff Boys'. The tale of "Brother and Sister" belongs to the Brothers Grimm.  
  
Blossom: Technically, since the copyrights expired over a century ago, any tale by the Brothers Grimm is now in the public domain.  
  
Bubbles: What?  
  
Blossom: Anyone can use them.  
  
Bubbles: Oh.  
  
Can we start yet!? **clears throat**  
  
Cast:  
  
Chien- God  
  
Bubbles- Sister  
  
Butch- Brother  
  
Brick- Huntsman  
  
Boomer- King  
  
Blossom- Nurse  
  
Sedusa- Stepmother  
  
Princess- Stepsister  
  
Prof. Utonium- Woodcutter  
  
  
  
Buttercup: Why is Butch the brother? Why can't I be the brother?!  
  
Well, You get to be the author's assistant. That is an important job.  
  
Buttercup: But I want to be the brother! I..  
  
*Chien hands Buttercup a copy of the script. She leafs through it, then starts laughing.*  
  
Butch: What!?  
  
Buttercup: Okay. He can be the brother!  
  
Butch: You know something don't you!  
  
Buttercup: Nope. *whistles*  
  
Once upon a time there was a woodcutter.  
  
*Prof. Utonium appears wearing lederhosen.*  
  
Prof. Utonium: Hi! I'm a woodcutter! I cut wood!  
  
Buttercup: Oh dear lord!  
  
*Chien ignores Buttercup.* The woodcutter had a son and a daughter, whose names were Butch and Bubbles.  
  
Bubbles: Yay!!  
  
After the woodcutter's first wife died, he remarried. However his second wife was a witch.  
  
Buttercup: Don't you mean a bi..  
  
Buttercup!!!  
  
Sedusa: I resent that!  
  
The stepmother was cruel to the children. So cruel that one day Butch said to his sister-  
  
Butch: That woman is driving me nuts! Let's blow this joint!  
  
Bubbles: Okay. Lets go to the woods. I like picking flowers in the woods!  
  
So Bubbles and Butch ran away to the woods. But little did they know that they're stepmother really WAS a witch. She could watch their every move in her magic soup pot.  
  
Sedusa: So those little runts want to run away? Fine! This is my chance to make sure they never return! I'll just enchant all the streams in the forest until one of them takes a drink! Bwahahaha *Hack* hahahaha!  
  
And so it was that the Stepmother cast a spell over the forest. And she didn't need to wait very long because the next morning-  
  
Butch: Man I need a drink!  
  
And so Brother and sister wandered around the forest looking for a stream. They found one, and Butch was about to drink when-  
  
Bubbles: Don't drink it! Can't you hear?  
  
^Who drinks of me will be a tiger! Who drinks of me will be a tiger^  
  
Bubbles: If you drink it you will turn into a tiger and tear me to shreds!  
  
Butch: But I'm thirsty! If it will make you happy I'll wait for the next one.  
  
Bubbles: Thank you!  
  
And so they wandered around until they found another stream. Alas! If one listened to this stream it sounded as if it was saying-  
  
^Who drinks of me will be a wolf! Who drinks of me will be a wolf!^  
  
Bubbles: Stop! If you drink it you will turn into a wolf and eat me!  
  
Butch: (I wish someone would eat you.) Fine! But the next one I'm drinking no matter what!  
  
And so the children wandered around. It was nearly noon when they finally reached another stream. But this one babbled-  
  
^Who drinks of me will be a deer! Who drinks of me will be a deer!^  
  
Bubbles: Brother don't! If you drink it you will turn into a deer and run away from me! Then I'll be all alone in the woods, and I'd be eaten for sure!  
  
Butch: I don't care! I'm thirsty! I bet you're hearing things anyway.  
  
But no sooner had his lips touched the water, than he fell down transformed into a fawn.  
  
*Buttercup falls down laughing*  
  
*Bubbles begins to cry*  
  
Butch *points a hoof at Buttercup*: YOU KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN DIDN'T YOU!!!!!!  
  
Buttercup *still laughing*: You bet your tail I did deer-boy!  
  
Please you two! Where was I. oh yes.  
  
Poor Bubbles was upset that her brother had been turned into a fawn. She cried for a while, and then she dried her eyes. She removed her golden garter and fastened it around the transformed neck of Butch.  
  
Butch: I don't wanna wear a collar!  
  
Bubbles: Um. excuse me miss author maam. But if our family was poor how did I get a golden garter?  
  
I really don't know Bubbles. If you ever meet Jacob or Wilhelm Grimm I'd ask them.  
  
Bubbles: Oh. Okay. Thank you!  
  
No problem. Anyway, Bubbles wove a cord out of reeds, and attached it to the collar. Then Bubbles and Butch the fawn wandered around the forest together. That evening the siblings found a nice cottage by a stream.  
  
Bubbles: This stream is not enchanted is it?  
  
No. The streams aren't enchanted anymore.  
  
Bubbles: Good!  
  
It was obvious that nobody had lived in this cottage for quite some time. A quick dusting, and it was a lovely home. The siblings lived in this cottage for quite some time. The only thing preventing it from being a completely happy existence was that Butch did not have his true form.  
  
Butch: What an understatement!  
  
Before long, twelve years had passed.  
  
Bubbles: How long?  
  
Butch: Twelve years.  
  
Bubbles: Never mind.  
  
Bubbles had grown up to be a beautiful woman. She had the loveliest golden hair, and the bluest eyes in the land.  
  
Bubbles *giggling*: You flatter me too much!  
  
Sadly however, Butch was still a fawn.  
  
Butch: Dammit!  
  
Butch! Watch your language! Anyway, where was I.. Oh yes. One day the young King of the kingdom went hunting in the woods. The trumpets could be heard all over, and it exited Butch-  
  
Butch: Ooh! A hunt! I want to go mess with their heads!  
  
Bubbles: But Butch! You could get hurt, or even killed! Then I'll be all alone.  
  
After much arguing Bubbles gave in.  
  
Bubbles: Fine. Go! But be back before sunset. I'm locking the door, so you must knock three times when you return for me to let you in.  
  
And so Butch went to the hunt. He pranced about dodging all the spears and arrows.-  
  
Boomer: Huntsman! Do you see that wonderful deer?  
  
Brick: Sure do! Wow! He sure would make a nice trophy!  
  
Try as they could, none could bring down that energetic deer. When it was nearly sunset, Butch gave a final spring before he lost the hunting party. He returned to the cottage, and knocked three times.  
  
Butch: Let me in!  
  
Bubbles was happy to see he was still alive. But the next morning the trumpets were again heard. After much arguing Bubbles let her brother go, under the same conditions that he return before sunset and he knock three times. Again, Butch had a wonderful time confusing the hunting party-  
  
Brick: It's that deer again sir!  
  
Boomer: It's venison for dinner tonight!  
  
Butch did a good job evading the weapons. But shortly before he had to leave for home, the King's spear grazed Butch above the ankle. Butch ran home, albeit he was slowed by his injury.  
  
Boomer: After him Huntsman!  
  
Little did Butch know that he was being followed. The huntsman hid behind a bush as Butch came to the cottage. The Huntsman saw as the deer knocked on the door. He was shocked to see a pretty woman let him in. When the Huntsman related this to the King-  
  
Boomer: That is crazy dude!  
  
Brick: Really! He knocked three times on the door, and he was let in by gorgeous chick!  
  
Boomer: No way!  
  
Brick: Way! Tomorrow go see for yourself man!  
  
Meanwhile back at the cottage Bubbles was bandaging Butch's ankle-  
  
Bubbles: You're hurt! I knew this would happen! No more teasing hunters for you!  
  
Butch: It's only a scratch! I'll be fine tomorrow.  
  
And indeed, the next morning the scratch was completely healed. And the trumpets were heard again. After much arguing Butch was allowed to go-  
  
Bubbles *yelling*: If you get killed, it's your own fault!  
  
Again Butch gave a wonderful performance. However the King and the Huntsman snuck off, leaving the other hunters to keep the deer distracted. The Huntsman showed the cottage to the King, saying-  
  
Brick: Here it is. I dare ya to go knock.  
  
Boomer: No way!  
  
Brick *flapping his arms*: Bwak bwak BWUCKAAK!  
  
Boomer: How dare you talk to your King like that! I am NOT chicken!  
  
*Boomer storms up to the door. He bangs three times*  
  
Bubbles opened the door, and she was surprised to see a King instead of her brother. King Boomer was astonished at her beauty. So taken was he, that he proposed marra-  
  
Boomer: Nuh-uh! No way! I ain't getting hitched to her or any lady for that matter! So you can just forget it! I.  
  
She sure is pretty though.  
  
Boomer: Yea but.  
  
And that castle is kind of lonely.  
  
Boomer *with less fire*: Yea, but.  
  
And she looks like she is friendly. I bet she'd be nice to talk to on those long evenings..  
  
Boomer: *sighs* Okay. I guess I can marry her.  
  
Good. *waits until Boomer isn't looking.* I KNEW this would come in handy! *Kisses Blossom's advanced psychology book*  
  
And so it was that the King and Bubbles were wed. And by the end of a year they had a baby.  
  
Boomer: Whoa! Time-out! I said I'd marry her! I didn't say I'd f.  
  
Relax dim-bulb. It's only Octi in a blanket. And watch your mouth!  
  
Boomer *embarrassed*: Oh. Sorry.  
  
Anyway, I hope you didn't forget about the stepmother. In the intervening years she had a daughter who was cursed with having only one eye.  
  
Princess: I'll just have my daddy buy me an eye!  
  
Afraid not. See in this story, you are a woodcutter's daughter. And woodcutters are usually poor.  
  
Princess: What! My agent is SO FIRED!  
  
Right. Well the stepmother had thought that Bubbles had been torn apart by beasts a long time ago, and that Boomer had been killed by hunters. So imagine her surprise when she looked into her magic soup pot! (She hadn't made soup in years.)  
  
Sedusa: WHAT!? Those brats are ALIVE?! I do not believe this! And what is this? She is a Queen?!  
  
Princess: That is so UNFAIR! I should be Queen! Not her. ME!  
  
Sedusa: You are correct daughter. But how can we right this wrong? Hmm... Of course! Daughter, I have an idea!  
  
And what a devious plot it was. The stepmother disguised herself and her daughter as midwives. They journeyed to the castle, and arrived in time to help the royal nurse to deliver the 'baby'. After the 'baby' was born, the step-mother-disguised-as-a-midwife said-  
  
Sedusa: Oh dear your majesty. You must be tired. How about a nice hot bath to sooth you.  
  
Bubbles: Thank you. A bath would be lovely right about now!  
  
Entrusting the 'baby' to the royal nurse, Bubbles let herself be led to the bath. No sooner had she laid down in the bath, than the false midwives ran out of the room. The stepsister locked the door, while the stepmother lit a big fire underneath the bath. The flames went so hot, that poor Bubbles was burned to ash.-  
  
Buttercup: Hey! That wasn't very nice!  
  
Princess: Duh!  
  
Sedusa: That was the POINT!  
  
Princess: With her out of the way, I can take my rightful place as queen!  
  
The stepmother used her arts to make her daughter to look exactly like the deceased queen. Try as she could however, she could not replace her missing eye.-  
  
Sedusa: Just lay on that side until I can think of something!  
  
Princess: Hurry up! I can't lay in this bed forever you know!  
  
That night as the false queen lay sleeping, the nurse was watching the 'baby'. At midnight a ghostly figure entered the room. The ghost had a strong resemblance to Bubbles. She picked up the 'baby', fed it a bottle, tucked it in, and left.-  
  
Blossom: That's odd.  
  
Days passed. The 'Queen' refused to leave her bed every day, and every night the ghostly figure came, fed the baby, and left without saying a word. All the while the nurse was suspicious of the whole deal.-  
  
Blossom: Something just doesn't seem right here.  
  
But still the ghostly visitor would come and go without saying a word. When this had been going on for nearly two weeks the pattern changed. The ghostly figure came and fed the 'baby' as usual. She tucked it in, but then she spoke-  
  
Bubbles' ghost: I see that the child is well. I shall return twice more and then farewell.  
  
And then the ghost left.  
  
Blossom: I'm telling the King!  
  
The nurse did inform the King when he awoke in the morning. He of course did not believe a word she said-  
  
Boomer: That's crazy! There are no such things as ghosts! And how can it be my wife if she is still alive?  
  
Blossom: I'm not sure your highness. Maybe you had better see for yourself.  
  
Boomer: Fine! I will! But I have more important things to do (Like finding the jerk who burned down my bathroom!)  
  
So that night after the sham-queen fell asleep, The King came in and hid under the bed. Much was his surprise when, at midnight, a specter did appear. She did indeed feed and tuck the 'baby' in. And before she left he heard it say-  
  
Bubbles' ghost: I see that the child is well. I shall return once more and then farewell.  
  
And then she left.  
  
Blossom: Now do you believe me?  
  
Boomer: Shut up.  
  
And so in this turn of events, the King was persuaded visit his wife's chamber again the next evening. Events played themselves out just like the previous evening, but this time the ghost said-  
  
Bubbles' ghost: I see that the child is well. I've come all I can. So alas, farewell.  
  
It was at this point that the King realized something. He knew that his wife's staying in bed all the time was uncharacteristic, but he had never considered the fact that the woman in the bed was not his wife at all. The nurse tried to stop him, but the King jumped out from under the bed saying-  
  
Boomer: HEY! YOU are my wife, aren't you!?  
  
Bubbles's ghost: Yes. I am indeed your wife.  
  
And through the will of God (with a little help of author powers), Queen Bubbles was restored to life.  
  
Bubbles: Yippee!!!  
  
However all this yelling also woke up the sleeping false-queen.  
  
Princess: Huh? What is going on?  
  
She got a good look at Bubbles.  
  
Princess: What is SHE doing here? I thought we killed you in the bathroom!  
  
Boomer: Bath.. Room.  
  
Princess: You should not be here! You should be a pile of ash because we incinerated you in the bathroom!  
  
Boomer: Bath!! Room!!  
  
Blossom: Oh dear.  
  
Boomer *screaming*: YOU'RE THE JERK WHO BURNED DOWN MY BATHROOM!?!?!  
  
Princess: oops.  
  
Boomer *louder*: GUARDS!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Princess: But. but..  
  
At this moment the Stepmother, who slept down the hall from the queen's chambers ran in to see what the ruckus was.  
  
Sedusa: What is going on here?  
  
Princess *points to Sedusa*: It was her idea!! She made me do it!!  
  
And as the guards arrived-  
  
Boomer: Arrest those two women!  
  
Sedusa *to Princess*: Traitor!  
  
And so the Stepmother and her daughter were arrested and put on trial. They were charged with murder in the first degree, regicide, impersonating medical personnel, impersonating royalty, witchcraft, and (the most heinous crime of all) destruction of the King's bathroom. They were found guilty of all charges. They were both sentenced to death by burning on the stake.  
  
Sedusa: Curse you!!!  
  
When the witch and her daughter were reduced to ash, the spell on Butch was broken. He once again became a little boy.  
  
Butch: Sweet! Hey wait a minute.  
  
Buttercup: Let me guess. And then everyone lived happily ever after?  
  
Yup.  
  
Bubbles: Woohoo!  
  
Boomer: Do you know what this means?  
  
Brick: Cast party!!!!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Butch: Hey lady! I have a bone to pick with you!  
  
Yes Butch?  
  
Butch: How come everyone else got to grow up and I'm stuck as a six year old kid?  
  
*sighs* Well you see Butch, It has been a while since I had come up with the idea for this story and.  
  
Butch: Get on with it!  
  
I had originally planned to turn you into a grownup at the very end in exchange for a kiss, but.  
  
Butch: Yuck! Gross! Kissing is disgusting! I.  
  
*He thinks a moment*  
  
Butch: But?  
  
I have since fallen in love with another cartoon character. I'm sorry Butch.  
  
Butch: How is that even possible? Once you've loved Butch, you've loved the best!  
  
I'm sorry Butch. I just don't love you like I used to.  
  
Butch: But..  
  
Voice offscreen: Chien! Have you seen my glasses?  
  
*Chien takes off stolen glasses and hides them behind her back*  
  
No Dib! I haven't seen them!  
  
*Chien walks away*  
  
*Butch snorts*  
  
Butch: Authors.. 


End file.
